It's interesting to me how the ultimate forum insult (pulled out to use after insults about armor, gemming, arena ratings, and lack of progression haven't had any effect) is physical. When forum trolls (and in-game whisperers) decide to move on to the ultimate showdown, they say "you're fat and ugly," often in all caps and repeated for emphasis.
Let's start with the incongruity of this insult -- for the most part we only know each other as pixels on a screen, in those character representations drawn by game developers. Our interaction is because of those pixels....and has nothing to do with our real-world shape or beauty. Yet fat and/or ugly is seen as the ultimate in forum name calling. And those insults are used even if nobody has seen a photo of the person being insulted (the troll logic being that the lack of photo proves they're both ugly and fat).
But here's the funny thing about those specific insults...in the real world we grew out of them. Yep, it's true that back when we were between 10 and 14 these were the insults that devastated us -- but at some point we moved on to insulting intelligence, taste in clothing, social standings, and all the rest. Oh, those may still have been thought by us, but we didn't say them out loud....it just sounded too juvenile to resort to those words compared to other much more witty insults.
There's no denying those insults really hurt back in our preteens and early teens -- we were still getting used to our bodies changing, and (even if we weren't) we FELT ugly and fat. So of course it hurt. And sadly it can sometimes hurt now, even though we're older (some of us much much older) and have our self-worth wrapped up in other items like our brains, our health, or our wealth. It hurts because just for that moment we are 13 again, with all the discomfort and social stress and worry that goes with being that age and at that state in our lives.
But what does using those insults say about the person doing the insulting? A lot. It says that they're 13 -- even if their body has aged past that stage, their emotional maturity hasn't. And if you know anything about 13 year olds it also tells you how to fight back....by not fighting. That emotional age feels they win if you respond. Doesn't matter if you respond with logic or emotion, with facts or with better insults, they won. And if you do ANYTHING in the real world in response (take your photos down off your myspace for example) they really really know they've won.
Does this mean you should ignore them completely on the forums? No, because they aren't the only people reading the forum posts -- which means there may be times you want to speak up and say your piece for other folks on the forum to read. But only do it once, then be done -- because one of the key signs of having that 13-year-old emotional maturity is the need to repeat things ad nauseum.
The best part about understanding the emotional immaturity of these insults, tho, is you can now make a mental picture of who is writing those things. Because of course, 99.999% of the time those forum posts (and in some cases in-game mails and whispers) are by anonymous level 1 alts of people who aren't brave enough to show their real character on the forum when they're doing that insulting. Since a level 1 alt could be anyone of any age, you had no idea who was calling you fat and ugly. But now you do. It doesn't matter if they're still physically trapped in a body with pimples, braces, 10 pm curfews, basic algebra classes, and a future that includes drivers training and P.E. or not. They're emotionally trapped there, the poor things. And every time I see a ranting "you're fat!" posting by one of them I get to remember that I don't have to ever take another embarrassing P.E. class shower (and have grown past obsessing about them, unlike the ones stuck at that maturity level), and I smile gleefully and move on to read something else.
So, g'head, and call me fat and ugly on the forums, kiddo -- but you might want to use a little pimple cream on that face of yours tonight because I'm sure all that anger will result in a breakout. And remember that every time you call me those names, my brain (and the brain of everyone else reading your attempt at trolling) is saying "pimple face" and assuming you're the kid everyone made fun of in the P.E. showers.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Shall we dance?
One of my favorite numbers from the musical The King and I is "Shall We Dance" -- a wonderful moment showing two people who have very different world views creating something beautiful. The awkwardness of it all adds to the charm.
Flirting on forums and within the World of Warcraft is best done as a dance, complete with awkward moments and a bit of charm. A waltz (like in the movie) is fine, but to really get things steamy you want to try a tango.
When your opening line is "wanna cyber?" you've missed all the fun of building up to that moment. Those first awkward and tentative steps, the back and forth, the learning of each other's rhythms. All of those things make the flirting fun and well-heated, instead of just some words thrown quickly onto a screen for giggles.
Always follow the two steps forward with one step back or sideways, in rhythm. Tease, tempt, retreat. Hint, lean forward, lean back. And then throw in some quick movements, a turn or two, and perhaps several steps backward (but with a smile). All done with careful pacing, and with attention to the little details.
And if your flirting partner goes ahead and throws something out of context or too advanced on screen for giggles, then giggle along -- remember, this is still a game. Enjoy the missteps as much as the tango itself. Then when the moment is right, pause the music, resume the correct stance, and begin the dance again.
Flirting on forums and within the World of Warcraft is best done as a dance, complete with awkward moments and a bit of charm. A waltz (like in the movie) is fine, but to really get things steamy you want to try a tango.
When your opening line is "wanna cyber?" you've missed all the fun of building up to that moment. Those first awkward and tentative steps, the back and forth, the learning of each other's rhythms. All of those things make the flirting fun and well-heated, instead of just some words thrown quickly onto a screen for giggles.
Always follow the two steps forward with one step back or sideways, in rhythm. Tease, tempt, retreat. Hint, lean forward, lean back. And then throw in some quick movements, a turn or two, and perhaps several steps backward (but with a smile). All done with careful pacing, and with attention to the little details.
And if your flirting partner goes ahead and throws something out of context or too advanced on screen for giggles, then giggle along -- remember, this is still a game. Enjoy the missteps as much as the tango itself. Then when the moment is right, pause the music, resume the correct stance, and begin the dance again.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Hitting a wall
I never expected to be liked by everyone. I know the odds that at least half the people who you come in contact with in life will dislike you, and another portion with actively hate you. But some days the active hatred gets to me.
Years ago I was told I was a hard ass with a soft center. Tough as nails, immovable, and if you get past that exterior a total softee. And it's true. A little too soft some times.
It's hard to flirt and laugh and have fun when someone is actively posting hate. The normal give and take on a forum often leads to insults, anger, ranting, and bad manners. Those things usually roll off my back, even when I'm not at 100%.
But some folks go beyond that stage.
At first I thought I would just ignore them and go on. Maybe it's the extreme lack of sleep I'm suffering from right now (day 15 of hubby's injured back) but I don't know that I actually want to. Go on, I mean. I'm just too tired of the vitriol this poster spits out. It's not what they say, it's the obvious and over-the-top hatred that shows in their sentence structure and word usage that tires me. He or she (I forget, tho I think they mentioned it once) makes my enjoyment of the playing with words and the flirtations drop to zero because that much negative emotion is painful to be around.
This means they won. I'm sad about that, I hate to let people like that win at anything because they take it as a sign that they're *right* rather than realizing they may have won only because they're more annoying and not because their cause is right.
Maybe I'll change my mind in a few days if I manage to get a bit more sleep. But for now, I think the Zulu forums will have to do without my flirting. I'll continue to flirt when I'm logged into the game, but I'm just too tired and too irritated to continue to put myself out there when I know the moment I do the thread will be filled with negativity instead of offering a fun read to forumites.
I do greatly appreciate (and owe big hugs to) the forum posters who have stood up for me in various threads -- reading their responses has been worth every single bit of negative emotion I've had to wade through. But I've hit the wall.
Years ago I was told I was a hard ass with a soft center. Tough as nails, immovable, and if you get past that exterior a total softee. And it's true. A little too soft some times.
It's hard to flirt and laugh and have fun when someone is actively posting hate. The normal give and take on a forum often leads to insults, anger, ranting, and bad manners. Those things usually roll off my back, even when I'm not at 100%.
But some folks go beyond that stage.
At first I thought I would just ignore them and go on. Maybe it's the extreme lack of sleep I'm suffering from right now (day 15 of hubby's injured back) but I don't know that I actually want to. Go on, I mean. I'm just too tired of the vitriol this poster spits out. It's not what they say, it's the obvious and over-the-top hatred that shows in their sentence structure and word usage that tires me. He or she (I forget, tho I think they mentioned it once) makes my enjoyment of the playing with words and the flirtations drop to zero because that much negative emotion is painful to be around.
This means they won. I'm sad about that, I hate to let people like that win at anything because they take it as a sign that they're *right* rather than realizing they may have won only because they're more annoying and not because their cause is right.
Maybe I'll change my mind in a few days if I manage to get a bit more sleep. But for now, I think the Zulu forums will have to do without my flirting. I'll continue to flirt when I'm logged into the game, but I'm just too tired and too irritated to continue to put myself out there when I know the moment I do the thread will be filled with negativity instead of offering a fun read to forumites.
I do greatly appreciate (and owe big hugs to) the forum posters who have stood up for me in various threads -- reading their responses has been worth every single bit of negative emotion I've had to wade through. But I've hit the wall.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Cross Faction Action
Truth be told, my guild leader thinks it's extremely funny that horde flirt with me in Shatt, and the rest of the guild tolerates it. But all of my guildies find it quite unnerving when we're in contested territory and a horde flirts instead of attacking. The phrase "trust no one" gets repeated a lot in guild chat, and I'm constantly reminded to not tell the alliance alt chars of horde folks anything, and I do mean ANYTHING at all about guild activities.
I know that there are horde players who are also quite unhappy about my flirting, and about the fact that often I'm flirted with instead of getting ganked. The word I've had passed on to me is "unfair" since everyone else has to deal with "if it's red it's dead" mentality.
Lore-wise, we're in the middle of an awkward truce, Horde and Alliance -- we work together but can't communicate directly. Our history toward each other is not one of flirting. On most PvP servers there's a lot of ganking by both sides. And outright hatred. And I admit that the kazillion times I was ganked while leveling in STV still rankle my soul a bit.
So why then do I flirt with Horde, besides the obvious "it's fun as hell" aspect? Simple -- it keeps me alive.
Play to your strengths is a phrase I throw out a lot, but I do actually mean it. My strength isn't PvP -- I'm not that fast, I keyboard turn, and I get flustered. But I can flirt like nobody's business. Back in my single days I was notorious for it, and it seems that (just like riding a bicycle) I still know how to tease, tempt, and bat my eye lashes. It wasn't really that hard to figure out how to behave like a total flirt using the in-game slash emotes...it turns out he most effective way is to just do what Cosmo says and make the guy feel good while preening a bit and blushing.
In the end, all's fair in love and war -- and in the World of Warcraft it turns out that (for me at least) flirting is just as good of a strategy as any other method of survival.
I know that there are horde players who are also quite unhappy about my flirting, and about the fact that often I'm flirted with instead of getting ganked. The word I've had passed on to me is "unfair" since everyone else has to deal with "if it's red it's dead" mentality.
Lore-wise, we're in the middle of an awkward truce, Horde and Alliance -- we work together but can't communicate directly. Our history toward each other is not one of flirting. On most PvP servers there's a lot of ganking by both sides. And outright hatred. And I admit that the kazillion times I was ganked while leveling in STV still rankle my soul a bit.
So why then do I flirt with Horde, besides the obvious "it's fun as hell" aspect? Simple -- it keeps me alive.
Play to your strengths is a phrase I throw out a lot, but I do actually mean it. My strength isn't PvP -- I'm not that fast, I keyboard turn, and I get flustered. But I can flirt like nobody's business. Back in my single days I was notorious for it, and it seems that (just like riding a bicycle) I still know how to tease, tempt, and bat my eye lashes. It wasn't really that hard to figure out how to behave like a total flirt using the in-game slash emotes...it turns out he most effective way is to just do what Cosmo says and make the guy feel good while preening a bit and blushing.
In the end, all's fair in love and war -- and in the World of Warcraft it turns out that (for me at least) flirting is just as good of a strategy as any other method of survival.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Incoming!
Yep, another round of free server transfers on the horizon. Would be nice to get some more folks on Zuluhed, tho I'm hoping for more alliance this time around. I may flirt with horde, but Alliance is who I sell my herbs to, who I buy stuff from, and who I team up with in instances. It would be very nice to be able to run Steam Vaults without it being a major production, to finally be on at the same time as a good healer so I could finish my epic flight form quest, and to finally get a group together so I can set foot in Botanica and get the Sha'tar rep I need.
Of course, it's not just more people, it's people in the right time zones. I probably could have done all of these if I could either stay up until 4am or log on at 2pm my time (pacific) to play. Every day when I finally log on it seems like there's already a group of friends or guildies off doing one of the instances I want to do (waaaah!) and it seems like every time I say "sure, sweetie, I'll log off in 5 minutes" I get a whisper asking if I want to run an instance. Sadly, I like my sleep (so no instance runs starting at midnight) and often find myself working during the day (shock of shocks) instead of playing WoW.
But whatever time zone or faction they're in, hopefully they'll be good additions to our little extended (and very challenging) family. We've already suffered through enough crap with previous rounds of transfers to last us for a while.
Of course, it's not just more people, it's people in the right time zones. I probably could have done all of these if I could either stay up until 4am or log on at 2pm my time (pacific) to play. Every day when I finally log on it seems like there's already a group of friends or guildies off doing one of the instances I want to do (waaaah!) and it seems like every time I say "sure, sweetie, I'll log off in 5 minutes" I get a whisper asking if I want to run an instance. Sadly, I like my sleep (so no instance runs starting at midnight) and often find myself working during the day (shock of shocks) instead of playing WoW.
But whatever time zone or faction they're in, hopefully they'll be good additions to our little extended (and very challenging) family. We've already suffered through enough crap with previous rounds of transfers to last us for a while.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Extortion is allowed
So, it turns out that along with everything else, extortion is allowed on PvP servers.
http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=9336670189&sid=1
On page four already, and the original thread on Zuluhed was just posted last night. I haven't read the whole thing, but so far it's quite entertaining.
So, will I pay to play? No way. But I'm not telling them that. I'll just hit the Isle at the time that most of them are in school -- one of the benefits of not being 18, and not working for someone else is that I can set my own schedule. and it's not that difficult avoiding the busy times. I never did do my dailies during prime time when I wanted money -- the few times I did go during prime time it was purely to do a little fighting and flirting.
With all the Horde kidlings needing to be on the island for a majority of their playtime to avoid missing someone I'm sure it'll be much easier for Alliance to farm elementals, gather herbs, and just generally run around and do things in Outland.
And for me, Professional Warcraft Flirt, having so many horde almost guaranteed to be in one place at one time is the equivalent of a nice buffet. I'd better to go practice a few more emotes.....
http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=9336670189&sid=1
On page four already, and the original thread on Zuluhed was just posted last night. I haven't read the whole thing, but so far it's quite entertaining.
So, will I pay to play? No way. But I'm not telling them that. I'll just hit the Isle at the time that most of them are in school -- one of the benefits of not being 18, and not working for someone else is that I can set my own schedule. and it's not that difficult avoiding the busy times. I never did do my dailies during prime time when I wanted money -- the few times I did go during prime time it was purely to do a little fighting and flirting.
With all the Horde kidlings needing to be on the island for a majority of their playtime to avoid missing someone I'm sure it'll be much easier for Alliance to farm elementals, gather herbs, and just generally run around and do things in Outland.
And for me, Professional Warcraft Flirt, having so many horde almost guaranteed to be in one place at one time is the equivalent of a nice buffet. I'd better to go practice a few more emotes.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
