Azune Says....

What's up with Zuluhed?

2010-02-08T07:36:00.000-08:00

Had an in-game whisper the other night asking if I still keep up my blog. It was sad to admit that no, I haven't been writing or posting here.

Thinking about the whys and whatevers, it isn't a lack of motivation. Just a feeling that I'd started repeating myself. Looking at why, I realized that a big part of the repeating came from the very nature of the server Azune lives on...Zuluhed has a bad habit of repeating itself.

A smaller server tends to attract and keep the same types of people. Stubborn people. Although there are other types who end up here by accident, the stubborn factor plays a big part in whether or not they leave the moment their toon can travel again. Some people are stubborn when they arrive, others develop that aspect of their personality slogging through the hostile trade chat posts, the eternally disenchanted forum posts, and the endless rounds of attempting to put together a pug.

And stubborn people, by their very nature, tend to repeat behaviors. And it got a little tiring writing about the same bad behavior over and over again. After all, I'm not the server mom...which means I'm not here to beat on a behavior until it changes. I'm a participant as well as an observer, but definitely not a psychiatrist trying to fix the server population. And my posts were starting to feel like psychiatric sessions dealing with the same bad behaviors over and over again.

But a strange thing happened not too long ago...we lost a little bit of that wall we had to pound our heads on thanks to the new LFG (Looking for Group) interface. Just like in AV, we're suddenly running around with people from other servers. People who are used to shorter waits for getting groups and fuller auction houses...we suddenly got a taste of how it felt to be hanging on those servers. Low and behold, the main cities became crowded again on Zulu as we weren't forced to entertain ourselves by ganking lowbies or doing esoteric achievements.

Standing in Dal yesterday I noticed dancing. And chatting. And some actually polite conversations in /trade. Sure, it's the Love is in the Air holiday season, so there are picnics, candies, and other city-type achievements to do, but a simple holiday can't change an entire server's base attitude simply by adding cologne and fru-fru hearts. Nope, we've changed. (Not enough to make Trade Chat safe for normal people -- that would take a miracle.)

I'm not going to be an optimist and suggest that Zulu is a happy and non-stubborn place to play, one that doesn't repeat itself...but I do think that maybe we've reached a population point and game point where we don't have to be quite so grumpy and cynical about life on Zuluhed. And you know what? That's a very very good thing.

So who knows, maybe I'll start writing here again regularly now that there's a possibility for interactions that are new and different. Or maybe Zulu will repeat itself and go back to being the same dang grumpfest of burnt out players too stubborn to transfer or quit. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

No time to flirt

2009-07-09T11:41:00.000-07:00

I swear I have no time to log in...much less time to flirt when I do log in. There's potions to make, herbs to gather, and guild gossip to sift through on Azune, plus things to sell on my bank alt and leveling to do on my other alts.

Doesn't help that real life has sucked up most of my free time lately. Been building the photography side of our business, and that means getting more photos in our portfolio. Since our neighbors and friends have all come up with excuses why they can't sit still even for FREE portraits (vacations, work, needing to lose weight, want to shop for new clothes first, you name it), we've had to find other folks who'll sit still for us. Namely, models.

Thank god for the internet -- and for Model Mayhem, one of the many sites out there where you can network with models and other photographers and find people where you can either pay them or trade images for their time. We just had our 3rd paid model shoot, have another scheduled in two weeks, and have enough shots in our MM portfolio that we're starting to get interest from the folks who will sit for free in trade for a few images for their portfolio. At this rate we may just have enough of the nice PG-rated images we need for a couple of marketing pieces we're working on, plus we'll have some really rockin' non-PG images that we feel are art-worthy enough to hang on our walls.

You can see my shots of models (both clothed and nude) on MM at http://www.modelmayhem.com/1269594, and my husband's much larger portfolio is at http://www.modelmayhem.com/1221997 . (If you're not a member you won't see any of the ones rated M for mature, sorry.) I think we do good work -- and boy are we having fun. Sure, it means Azune has no time to flirt in Dalaran, but that's OK. Sometimes real life can be just as much fun as a video game.

Serve it warm

2009-03-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

Flirting is a dish best served warm. By that I mean that the flirting person should be warm -- happy, content, perhaps even a little giddy.

But far too often we try to flirt when our "real" life isn't conducive to being lighthearted. Instead of the flirting coming from a good place and making us feel even better, we attempt to use flirting as a way to feel good.

And that's bad. Because flirting as a cold dish is, well, icky.

If you're not warm, then don't flirt -- go fish or kill something. Get your mood up with some chocolate. Or just plain log out and deal with whatever you need to deal with IRL. But don't make the mistake of trying to act giddy and sweet when your mood is anything but.

Happy Birthday!

2009-03-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

The object of my most dedicated and passionate flirting is my darling husband. And today is his birthday.

Needless to say, I haven't limited the celebrating to today...fun has been happening since Monday, and will continue through the rest of the week and weekend.

Most people make the mistake of only celebrating for about half an hour once they pass a certain age (usually somewhere in their mid-20s). A glass of wine, a slice of cake, and some hearty greetings from your pals is usually about all a busy adult has time for. But what's the fun in that? After all, the older you get the more obvious it becomes that on your birthday you aren't actually celebrating your birth...but rather your continued life.

So, in honor of Bruce, here's a toast to everyone who has a March birthday. Congrats on life. Now go live it.

Flirting in Dalaran

2008-12-01T19:06:00.000-08:00

Well, Wrath is finally far enough along that people are starting to hang out instead of questing 24/7. Now that some folks are waiting to get groups for heroics or waiting for guildies to log on to help with profession leveling, the standing-around population in Dalaran has increased. And that means that flirting season can start.

But Dalaran isn't Shatt -- instead of hanging out at mixed-faction banks, we're hanging out near our faction areas (or by the closest bank/inn to those areas). That's OK, it just means you have to wander around a bit to socialize and not just stand 5 steps from the mailbox.

More importantly, Dalaran has some unusual areas to explore -- for example, the sewers will be much more popular once the Arena season begins, but they're already a great place to hang out and fish and flirt. There's also smaller spots like the center fountain, the Beer Garden behind one of the Inns, and the street of profession trainers.

It'll take a while to get comfy hanging out in Dalaran, and a while to figure out where to stand to find the folks who'll flirt back. But the season is here, and it's time to get started.

Across the Barrier

2008-10-20T11:12:00.000-07:00

Factions are an arbitrary line drawn by Blizzard...but you don't have to "stay" on your side. And you definitely don't have to pretend that you don't have friends in the other faction.

I've only really spent much time in WoW on Zuluhed, so my Warcraft experience is on a small server. I get the feeling that on larger servers there's more of a divide between horde and alliance. But it can't really be that way on Zulu...when you log in and 90% of folks you see every day are all "enemy" instead of your faction, you stop seeing that dividing line as clearly.

And on small servers, like it or not, the gossip crosses faction lines. Whether it's via Vent, through instant messages or texting, through postings on forums, or via a second account where someone has a character of the other faction, info crosses that arbitrary barrier created by Blizzard. Because we want to know about the people we wave to and /dance with every day; it's human nature.

Should I pretend that I don't have friends on the other side? It'd make my guild leader happy if I didn't. Would make certain other folks both Horde-side and Alliance-side very happy, since they see that dividing line as though it's a brick wall and I'm shaking up their world view by crossing it. But I do have friends, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.

Thanks to my having friends on the other side -- and being open about it -- I've found myself dancing with Blood Elves in Tristfal Glades, blowing kisses to Tauren in Darkshore, and flirting my heart out with Orcs and Trolls in Hellfire and Nagrand. All those folks who say "red is dead" will never have those experiences, and that's sad.

Try a little Politeness

2008-10-08T22:04:00.000-07:00

There's an interesting dynamic in a smaller server, where politeness seems to be a lost art. For example, for most people on Zuluhed the ultimate in being polite consists of "r u X spec?" questions whispered to random folks you don't actually know.

In real society, it's considered polite to say "excuse me" to indicate that you're interrupting -- but that part definitely goes out the window in smaller WoW communities. (I did have one stranger whisper "excuse me, I hate to interrupt" but they were a potential transferee from another server who wanted some questions answered about Zuluhed, not a zulu regular.) I'm sure it's partly from the frustration of trying to get groups together, trying to survive the twisty economy, and so on. But it's also from feeling like you're in a small town where everyone knows each other's secrets. So there's no feeling of putting on your "good" face when introducing yourself to one of the three people on the server who you don't know. Thankfully, life on a small server can continue quite well even without the "excuse me" level of politeness.

But unfortunately, one of the biggest politeness problems can happen within guilds on a small server. In these cases it's not just the "excuse me" part that gets lost -- the whole question gets left out. Instead of asking "are you interested in X instance and are you available on X date" the folks in your guild (or in your regular group of in-game friends) assume that you will (of course) be available, just because you were on the other night and are often on when they are.

The assumption method works fine a lot of the time -- after all, in these small groups you pretty much know each other's schedules. But it falls apart if the person has life commitments or obligations outside of WoW....in other words, if the person has a spouse/relationship, kids, a job, pets, or even friends that aren't in the game. Because in Real Life things happen...friends drop by, relatives get sick, chores need done, and so on, and those Real Life things don't happen on WoW's schedule or schedule themselves only in non-WoW hours. There are only a few folks who fit the stereotype of living in basements and playing WoW 24/7 on their mom's dollar...which means that everyone else has commitments or may get hit with an Act of God that will cause the folks who made the assumption to get angry and frustrated.

There's only one way to prevent that frustration -- and the bad feelings on both sides. Ask. Don't assume that everyone is available just because you are, or that they're available on your schedule. Say "hey, do you want to run X instance tomorrow night?" rather than just putting it on the calendar without saying anything or (even worse) just assuming that they'll be on and interested. This means you should ask (in advance, not when you're standing at the summoning stone) if there's a time that's good for them.

It's amazing how much smoother your relationships on a small server will be if you overwhelm everyone with politeness, instead of relying on assumptions.

Forum Insults

2008-09-21T08:40:00.000-07:00

It's interesting to me how the ultimate forum insult (pulled out to use after insults about armor, gemming, arena ratings, and lack of progression haven't had any effect) is physical. When forum trolls (and in-game whisperers) decide to move on to the ultimate showdown, they say "you're fat and ugly," often in all caps and repeated for emphasis.

Let's start with the incongruity of this insult -- for the most part we only know each other as pixels on a screen, in those character representations drawn by game developers. Our interaction is because of those pixels....and has nothing to do with our real-world shape or beauty. Yet fat and/or ugly is seen as the ultimate in forum name calling. And those insults are used even if nobody has seen a photo of the person being insulted (the troll logic being that the lack of photo proves they're both ugly and fat).

But here's the funny thing about those specific insults...in the real world we grew out of them. Yep, it's true that back when we were between 10 and 14 these were the insults that devastated us -- but at some point we moved on to insulting intelligence, taste in clothing, social standings, and all the rest. Oh, those may still have been thought by us, but we didn't say them out loud....it just sounded too juvenile to resort to those words compared to other much more witty insults.
There's no denying those insults really hurt back in our preteens and early teens -- we were still getting used to our bodies changing, and (even if we weren't) we FELT ugly and fat. So of course it hurt. And sadly it can sometimes hurt now, even though we're older (some of us much much older) and have our self-worth wrapped up in other items like our brains, our health, or our wealth. It hurts because just for that moment we are 13 again, with all the discomfort and social stress and worry that goes with being that age and at that state in our lives.

But what does using those insults say about the person doing the insulting? A lot. It says that they're 13 -- even if their body has aged past that stage, their emotional maturity hasn't. And if you know anything about 13 year olds it also tells you how to fight back....by not fighting. That emotional age feels they win if you respond. Doesn't matter if you respond with logic or emotion, with facts or with better insults, they won. And if you do ANYTHING in the real world in response (take your photos down off your myspace for example) they really really know they've won.

Does this mean you should ignore them completely on the forums? No, because they aren't the only people reading the forum posts -- which means there may be times you want to speak up and say your piece for other folks on the forum to read. But only do it once, then be done -- because one of the key signs of having that 13-year-old emotional maturity is the need to repeat things ad nauseum.

The best part about understanding the emotional immaturity of these insults, tho, is you can now make a mental picture of who is writing those things. Because of course, 99.999% of the time those forum posts (and in some cases in-game mails and whispers) are by anonymous level 1 alts of people who aren't brave enough to show their real character on the forum when they're doing that insulting. Since a level 1 alt could be anyone of any age, you had no idea who was calling you fat and ugly. But now you do. It doesn't matter if they're still physically trapped in a body with pimples, braces, 10 pm curfews, basic algebra classes, and a future that includes drivers training and P.E. or not. They're emotionally trapped there, the poor things. And every time I see a ranting "you're fat!" posting by one of them I get to remember that I don't have to ever take another embarrassing P.E. class shower (and have grown past obsessing about them, unlike the ones stuck at that maturity level), and I smile gleefully and move on to read something else.

So, g'head, and call me fat and ugly on the forums, kiddo -- but you might want to use a little pimple cream on that face of yours tonight because I'm sure all that anger will result in a breakout. And remember that every time you call me those names, my brain (and the brain of everyone else reading your attempt at trolling) is saying "pimple face" and assuming you're the kid everyone made fun of in the P.E. showers.

Shall we dance?

2008-09-08T14:15:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite numbers from the musical The King and I is "Shall We Dance" -- a wonderful moment showing two people who have very different world views creating something beautiful. The awkwardness of it all adds to the charm.

Flirting on forums and within the World of Warcraft is best done as a dance, complete with awkward moments and a bit of charm. A waltz (like in the movie) is fine, but to really get things steamy you want to try a tango.

When your opening line is "wanna cyber?" you've missed all the fun of building up to that moment. Those first awkward and tentative steps, the back and forth, the learning of each other's rhythms. All of those things make the flirting fun and well-heated, instead of just some words thrown quickly onto a screen for giggles.

Always follow the two steps forward with one step back or sideways, in rhythm. Tease, tempt, retreat. Hint, lean forward, lean back. And then throw in some quick movements, a turn or two, and perhaps several steps backward (but with a smile). All done with careful pacing, and with attention to the little details.

And if your flirting partner goes ahead and throws something out of context or too advanced on screen for giggles, then giggle along -- remember, this is still a game. Enjoy the missteps as much as the tango itself. Then when the moment is right, pause the music, resume the correct stance, and begin the dance again.

Hitting a wall

2008-09-06T23:05:00.000-07:00

I never expected to be liked by everyone. I know the odds that at least half the people who you come in contact with in life will dislike you, and another portion with actively hate you. But some days the active hatred gets to me.

Years ago I was told I was a hard ass with a soft center. Tough as nails, immovable, and if you get past that exterior a total softee. And it's true. A little too soft some times.

It's hard to flirt and laugh and have fun when someone is actively posting hate. The normal give and take on a forum often leads to insults, anger, ranting, and bad manners. Those things usually roll off my back, even when I'm not at 100%.

But some folks go beyond that stage.

At first I thought I would just ignore them and go on. Maybe it's the extreme lack of sleep I'm suffering from right now (day 15 of hubby's injured back) but I don't know that I actually want to. Go on, I mean. I'm just too tired of the vitriol this poster spits out. It's not what they say, it's the obvious and over-the-top hatred that shows in their sentence structure and word usage that tires me. He or she (I forget, tho I think they mentioned it once) makes my enjoyment of the playing with words and the flirtations drop to zero because that much negative emotion is painful to be around.

This means they won. I'm sad about that, I hate to let people like that win at anything because they take it as a sign that they're *right* rather than realizing they may have won only because they're more annoying and not because their cause is right.

Maybe I'll change my mind in a few days if I manage to get a bit more sleep. But for now, I think the Zulu forums will have to do without my flirting. I'll continue to flirt when I'm logged into the game, but I'm just too tired and too irritated to continue to put myself out there when I know the moment I do the thread will be filled with negativity instead of offering a fun read to forumites.

I do greatly appreciate (and owe big hugs to) the forum posters who have stood up for me in various threads -- reading their responses has been worth every single bit of negative emotion I've had to wade through. But I've hit the wall.

Cross Faction Action

2008-09-04T09:30:00.001-07:00

Truth be told, my guild leader thinks it's extremely funny that horde flirt with me in Shatt, and the rest of the guild tolerates it. But all of my guildies find it quite unnerving when we're in contested territory and a horde flirts instead of attacking. The phrase "trust no one" gets repeated a lot in guild chat, and I'm constantly reminded to not tell the alliance alt chars of horde folks anything, and I do mean ANYTHING at all about guild activities.

I know that there are horde players who are also quite unhappy about my flirting, and about the fact that often I'm flirted with instead of getting ganked. The word I've had passed on to me is "unfair" since everyone else has to deal with "if it's red it's dead" mentality.

Lore-wise, we're in the middle of an awkward truce, Horde and Alliance -- we work together but can't communicate directly. Our history toward each other is not one of flirting. On most PvP servers there's a lot of ganking by both sides. And outright hatred. And I admit that the kazillion times I was ganked while leveling in STV still rankle my soul a bit.

So why then do I flirt with Horde, besides the obvious "it's fun as hell" aspect? Simple -- it keeps me alive.

Play to your strengths is a phrase I throw out a lot, but I do actually mean it. My strength isn't PvP -- I'm not that fast, I keyboard turn, and I get flustered. But I can flirt like nobody's business. Back in my single days I was notorious for it, and it seems that (just like riding a bicycle) I still know how to tease, tempt, and bat my eye lashes. It wasn't really that hard to figure out how to behave like a total flirt using the in-game slash emotes...it turns out he most effective way is to just do what Cosmo says and make the guy feel good while preening a bit and blushing.

In the end, all's fair in love and war -- and in the World of Warcraft it turns out that (for me at least) flirting is just as good of a strategy as any other method of survival.

Incoming!

2008-09-03T13:13:00.000-07:00

Yep, another round of free server transfers on the horizon. Would be nice to get some more folks on Zuluhed, tho I'm hoping for more alliance this time around. I may flirt with horde, but Alliance is who I sell my herbs to, who I buy stuff from, and who I team up with in instances. It would be very nice to be able to run Steam Vaults without it being a major production, to finally be on at the same time as a good healer so I could finish my epic flight form quest, and to finally get a group together so I can set foot in Botanica and get the Sha'tar rep I need.

Of course, it's not just more people, it's people in the right time zones. I probably could have done all of these if I could either stay up until 4am or log on at 2pm my time (pacific) to play. Every day when I finally log on it seems like there's already a group of friends or guildies off doing one of the instances I want to do (waaaah!) and it seems like every time I say "sure, sweetie, I'll log off in 5 minutes" I get a whisper asking if I want to run an instance. Sadly, I like my sleep (so no instance runs starting at midnight) and often find myself working during the day (shock of shocks) instead of playing WoW.

But whatever time zone or faction they're in, hopefully they'll be good additions to our little extended (and very challenging) family. We've already suffered through enough crap with previous rounds of transfers to last us for a while.

Extortion is allowed

2008-09-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

So, it turns out that along with everything else, extortion is allowed on PvP servers.

http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=9336670189&sid=1

On page four already, and the original thread on Zuluhed was just posted last night. I haven't read the whole thing, but so far it's quite entertaining.

So, will I pay to play? No way. But I'm not telling them that. I'll just hit the Isle at the time that most of them are in school -- one of the benefits of not being 18, and not working for someone else is that I can set my own schedule. and it's not that difficult avoiding the busy times. I never did do my dailies during prime time when I wanted money -- the few times I did go during prime time it was purely to do a little fighting and flirting.

With all the Horde kidlings needing to be on the island for a majority of their playtime to avoid missing someone I'm sure it'll be much easier for Alliance to farm elementals, gather herbs, and just generally run around and do things in Outland.

And for me, Professional Warcraft Flirt, having so many horde almost guaranteed to be in one place at one time is the equivalent of a nice buffet. I'd better to go practice a few more emotes.....

Trust, optimism, and me

2008-08-30T20:42:00.001-07:00

I was told today that I'm an optimist. I thought all my optimism had been worn off by time, that I'd become a cynic through and through thanks to time and the business world. It was a bit of a shock to realize that the person who said this is right when it comes to friendships and my social life.

Recent events in our guild have made me realize I tend to give complete trust when I give my friendship, and that I tend to remain unswervingly trusting even when there are hints that I'm overlooking major character flaws. I wear giant blinders, something I would never tolerate in my business life.

As a result, although that makes me a good friend to the person I've given my trust to...it also seems to make me a total patsy, someone who is easy to fool. When faced with complete evidence of wrong-doing in someone I trusted I continue to say "let's not be hasty" and want more and more evidence before (finally) removing that trust.

Unfortunately, this time I have definitely seen proof, and I seriously feel betrayed. It sucks.

And it makes me doubt myself and my judgement. It's really sad to think that the actions of this one person will make me doubt myself and feel uncomfortable making new friends for some time.

It's not a job...it's an adventure

2008-08-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

Too bad that's the worst line of BS ever written. A job is a job is a job. That's why it's called "work" and not called "fun" or "vacation."

Running a Warcraft guild is definitely a tough job. My short stint wasn't a complete flop...but it was filled with drama, gquits, frequently changed "message of the day" text, demotions and promotions, lots of chatting, and lots of hard work. Good thing I have a lot of experience herding cats.

It feels like it lasted at least a month...I believe I was GM for 3.5 days max, maybe a little less.

Will I try it again? Sure -- I'm not one to back down from a challenge, even if all that hard work does rather ruin my plans to become the most infamous flirt and slacker on Zuluhed.

So, I'm not a kid

2008-08-27T11:41:00.001-07:00

Get over it.

As Jimmy Buffet says....

I rounded first never thought of the worst
As I studied the shortstop's position
Crack went my leg like the shell of an egg
Someone call a decent physician
I'm no Pete Rose, I can't pretend
Though my mind is quite flexible,
these brittle bones don't bend

I'm growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead

Sometimes I see me as old manatee
Headin' south as the waters grow colder
Tries to steer clear of the hum-drum so near
It cuts prop scars deep in his shoulder
But that's how it goes (that's howit goes), right to the end
Though his body's quite flexible,
thatbarnacle brain don't bend

I'm growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm livin' than live while I'm dead

Now don't get me wrong
This is not a sad song
Just events that I have happened to witness
And time takes its toll as we head for the poll
And no one dies from physical fitness
So what the hell, we'll take it right to the end
As the days grow more complicatedthe nightlife still wins

I'm growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of change blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead
Let those winds of time blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead

Tuesday morning = downtime

2008-08-26T08:24:00.000-07:00

I love to read the general forums on Tuesday morning -- no matter how big the message is on the WoW startup screen, or how long it's up there, there's always someone who posts on the general forum wanting to know why they can't get into WoW. Seeing these weekly messages reassures me that the human race has not progressed...we still spend 99.9% of our time wandering around with giant blinkers on and end up shocked (shocked I tell you!) when normal and ordinary things happen.

It's just too bad that more of life doesn't have a regularly scheduled Maintenance Event. I'd love to have a morning of downtime from being responsible, for example. Or an afternoon of downtime from working on my relationships. And an entire day of extended maintenance on my laundry and housecleaning would really be nice. Of course, being human, I'd have to post a WTF message somewhere complaining about the downtime instead of just enjoying the momentary break.

I'm boring myself

2008-08-25T10:39:00.000-07:00

This blog has gotten far too boring...

Let's talk about sex.

Funny thing, but as long as you're dancing around the subject (on the WoW forums or in chat) it's considered appropriate, even if some of the folks involved are potentially under-aged teens. But god help you if you talk about it honestly, no matter what the ages of the folks involved. Doesn't matter what type or variety of sex either. In my book, honest blunt talk has saved a lot of confused young things from making brutal mistakes based on not understanding subtle sarcasm.

Some day I may just get tired of the misinformation and blow out a few folks' brain cells with a wee bit of truth about women, growing older, and sex. After all, if I'm going to be forum banned it might as well be for giving someone some honest and useful information about an activity they'll spend most of their adult years doing.

Heck with arena ratings...in the long run earning a few purple epics for your sex life is much more important.

Testing Boundaries

2008-08-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

So, things are slightly nutty in Guild-land. Seems the change of officers has brought out the giddy and silly side. And the testing side.

How far can they go before they make me mad? Hmmm....good question. Steam needs to be let off right now, tensions need to be diffused. But if it looks like the chat/actions are too distruptive, or that my temporary authority is being undermined, I'll need to shut it down for the good of the guild. I'll start by asking for a change in behavior (in a whisper, not putting them on the spot) but I'm prepared to escalate to a public discussion. Peer pressure is a wonderful thing.

And most importantly, it wasn't actually an idle threat I made in chat this morning, tho I think that specific pusher-of-envelopes thinks it was. He can tease, be goofy, be dominant in chat...but M expects me to hold things together so if he goes too far I will indeed offer 200g to the horde who kills and camps (and screenshots) him. It'd be worth every copper.

Drama....happens

2008-08-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

So, as of this morning I'm a Guild Master. Not a planned transition, but rather a drama transition.

Not sure what specifically caused this to happen (tho I think I may have played a big part) but here's the summary of events. Bunch of guildies are online, various things being chatted about. One person is whispering me that she's upset, I'm giving advice, also chatting with my mother-in-law who asks complicated questions that take all my attention so I wasn't really following gchat that well.

Then suddenly, M, the GM and founder, transfers GM-ness to me, gquits and logs out. She said nothing to anyone, just vanished.

Why do I think I played a big part in the drama? Mostly because outside of WoW I commented to M that she was overreacting about something the other day -- I was actually trying to get her to step back and relax, to not take certain things to heart so that she wouldn't feel so stressed (she has enough life stress, doesn't need to compound it by taking random crap personally). She saw my comment as attacking her, not helping her, and said so. Add to her feeling that she was being attacked by me a guild defection that upset her and a bunch of other little things going on in the guild and you have a moment where it gets overwhelming...and so she tossed off the item overwhelming her.

I don't want to be a GM -- I do my best to stay away from responsibility in all areas of my life. I'm honest enough about my shortcomings to know that I want (crave) attention and flattery, and don't want more work. But I'm grown up enough that I don't shirk responsibility when it's handed to me (tho not so grown up that I stop whining). That means it's up to me to keep things together until M reaches a point in her life where she can come back.

Gah...this is not what I had in mind for relaxed Sunday.

Leaving the nest

2008-08-23T21:03:00.001-07:00

Folks leave guilds all the time. They come, they go. It's like dating, in a way...but really, it's more like parenting. At some point the little chicks leave the nest.

I'm always sad to see someone move on, but my being a stick-in-the-mud scrub who fears anything more challenging than a lvl 60 instance does not stop me from feeling happy and proud when they fly away. Do I miss them? Yeah, sure. But I also feel like cheering.

Good luck and godspeed, kiddos. May you find whatever you're looking for.

It's not personal, really

2008-08-23T09:50:00.001-07:00

Some folks take things so very personally that it can physically hurt me to chat with them. What must they be like in real life when they assume so frequently in-game that someone's actions or some goofy trash talk were completely and solely geared to hurt them personally, instead of merely being part of playing a game?

Yes, there's a real human on the other end of each and every toon in WoW. You can never forget that you can hurt real human feelings when interacting -- we aren't NPCs. But if you have to walk around on tiptoes and watch every word the fun fades very quickly. This is still a game. Play it, don't live in it, don't live for it.

Boredom is a disease

2008-08-22T12:18:00.000-07:00

And it's a catchy one when it comes to forums or guilds in WoW.

On the forums, there'll be a small bit of action, a few interesting posts, then everyone (and every thread) loses energy. It's often blamed on folks being busy with "real lives" but what I've seen happening is folks growing bored with the topics at hand rather than getting distracted away from them. And when they're bored they wander away to read the latest gossip about some hollywood starlette and don't return.

In guilds, the boredom is shown in short tempers, impatience, and whining. And in trying to stir things up by scheduling events. And when that person's boredom isn't fixed by an event or a discussion that gets folks fired up, they vanish just like the forum posters. They don't log in, or log out early, and over time are seen less and less.

The worst part about boredom is that it's catchy. When one person gets it, another soon follows. And before you know it you have a dead forum or guild.

New blood (server transfers, new members) helps for a while, but doesn't fix the actual problem -- a lack of something interesting to do or talk about. Having someone try to stir things up will also help for a while, but often that person gets tired of carrying so much weight around and abdicates.

But the bottom-line problem here is that the only complete cure for boredom in WoW is external to the players -- the game or events in the world of warcraft themselves have to be *interesting* enough to generate postings and activity without anyone stirring things up. A person (no matter how determined) can only make small ripples in the Warcraft pond, but it's up to Blizzard to create an entire tide.

I find this funny...

2008-08-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

Strangely and sadly, I find this comic very amusing:

http://xkcd.com/72/

No, you actually aren't

2008-08-21T10:45:00.001-07:00

It's a known fact -- in WoW if you say "I am good at X" you actually aren't that thing in the eyes of most people. If you say "I'm great at PvP" you probably suck in other folks' eyes.

We tend (in the real world) to have blinders on about our own faults and failings, and often try to bolster our egos (and do some postitive thinking) by making positive statements. But within the World of Warcraft if you go around proclaiming something you are even *more* likely to be wrong. If you say to me "My talents are just fine" after I've asked you a question about them, then I'm 99% sure they're terrible. Not because I've seen them in action or because I know anything about your class or spec, but because in 99% of the cases when someone makes a blanket statement like that while they are in the game they are 100% wrong.

The game is not real life. Don't confuse RL positive thinking with being a total blockhead in game.

Don't push me

2008-08-20T22:16:00.000-07:00

Certain folks get far too...well, pushy, I guess I'd say, within the World of Warcraft. There's this tendency by those folks to say in trade, group, or guild chat "[name] is doing X" without checking with the named person first. It's one thing when you're teasing them in trade (e.g. "Joe is dating Jean") but quite another when you're discussing anything else. If you say "Azune is running X instance" to a group of folks and I either A) lied to you to get you to stop nagging me about when I was actually going to do that instance, or B) already have a group and don't want 20 whispers, you've put me in a bind.

The thing is, the folks who do this have ZERO idea they're causing any problems -- they think they're being helpful. They think of themselves as facilitators and matchmakers. And they, of course, get horribly insulted when you snarl at them because they've just caused you a huge headache.

Bottom line -- don't announce anything in gchat, trade, Vent, or party chat about anyone else. Whisper to the person involved if you feel the need to be helpful. I don't care if you're the party/raid leader, a GM, or the Pope, if I didn't hire you as my PR firm then don't take on that role without asking my permission first.

Best Plaid Lans....

2008-08-20T16:07:00.000-07:00

Ever make a huge decision, a live-changing one, and then five minutes later have life kick you in the...well, you know, preventing you from going forward? I woke up at 6, spent two hours thinking, contemplating, debating and deciding. I scheduled, prepared, and was all set. And just moments before the big ta-da moment, life kicked me.

Not a permanent kick, not a big life-changing thing of its own (as sometimes happens) but enough to make me stop and say "not today" because going forward right now would just be the most selfish and snotty thing I've ever done.

Here's the deal -- a huge part of the big decision was to stop running away from conflict. To actually stand up and say "I'm mad as hell and won't take it anymore." I was so proud of myself this morning for reaching that point. And I feel like a stuck record now, unable to move forward but not actually moving back (yet).

We'll see what happens...hopefully I'll find a way to get the courage up and make my stand once this momentary set-back is over. If in real life I actually was Azune, there'd be no problem with thinking I could do this....but that's the funny thing about the character you play in a game and your real persona, they don't always have to match.

Facebook Friends

2008-08-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

In addition to my guildies, I've managed to add a few of my Zuluhed flirting buddies to my Facebook friends list. Only a few, mind you, and they're pretty much buried between the photography friends and the total-strangers-who-play-mobwars friends, but they're in there.

It's interesting how Warcraft and social networking has allowed me to make "friends" with people I've never met or talked to...just exchanged forum messages with. The really mind-blowing (for us old farts) part is that in many cases these virtual friends not only spend more time with me, they know more about me than some relatives or real world friends.

But some things remain the same -- the effort to be seen as having a good life (i.e. no blemishes) and the desire to be admired I carry with me whether I'm flirting on a game forum or meeting friends for dinner. I have to admire my own lies.